Are you spending Valentine’s Day alone? Follow these tips, and your friends will be jealous.
Tell anyone that you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone, by choice, and they’ll stare like you’ve just told them you’re considering a sex change or think Glee is the greatest TV show of all time. “Valentine’s Day? Alone? Are you crazy?”
But what’s so odd about spending the holiday of love hanging out with the one you love most: yourself? Being alone on V-Day can be just as much fun as hanging out with some random date or the person you’ve been meaning to break up with for months but don’t have the balls to do it. Being alone is cheaper, easier and probably a hell of a better idea.
Here are some other things you can do on February 14th to celebrate the day of love.
1. Treat yourself
Valentine’s Day is normally a day to spend an exorbitant amount of money on gifts that normally cost half the price the other 364 days of the year: flowers, candy and even dinner prices get tripled because of all the suckers going all out on every Valentine’s Day purchase. Since you don’t have to worry about spending half your mortgage on gifts that don’t make it to the end of the week, take half of that money and spend it on yourself. Buy that guy gear you’ve been eyeing since before Christmas, splurge on a new wardrobe or just drop it all on a guilty pleasure like a massage. Be your own Valentine. Do whatever the hell you want. Declare it a “Me Day” and go out and have fun. No one will even notice. They are all too busy crying and whining because they are not in — or sometimes because they are in — a relationship.
2. Have A Party
You were invited to a couple of parties, but respectfully declined because all the festivities would include couples. Why not go for a little while anyway? Drink and eat on another guy’s dime and still leave with time to go out and hit a couple of bars after the party hits the wall. You never know — a few single women could also be in attendance, upping your chances of getting a little box of chocolates of your own on V-Day (yes, that was supposed to sound perverted). You could also hit a bar, go to a show or anywhere else where other single people are hanging out.
3. Veg out
Do nothing at all. Being single on Valentine’s Day is the one time you’re allowed a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card to spending money on booze and extracurricular activities your nonexistent girlfriend would probably disapprove of. Just stay home, veg out on the couch, and be glad you’re not dropping a couple of bills on overcooked steak and watered-down drinks. You can go out next weekend and rub all the money you saved in your hitched friends’ faces.
There’s lots more you can do if you’re going to spend Valentine’s Day alone…
4. Tear it up with your buds
Men always have at least one or two single friends. It’s just the law. They’ll be spending Valentine’s Day alone as well. Spend the night with the other guys who don’t have a significant other. Don’t settle for the typical night; make it a really big night. Go for dinner, drinks, to a bar or even for just a night of gambling at someone’s house. Blow off some steam and forget all about the love-and-hearts crap. You also don’t have to worry about any of the holiday talk creeping into the conversation unless it’s: “Man, am I glad I don’t have to waste time on that Valentine’s junk.”
“For my 21st birthday, I’m going to a strip club & probably doing M for the first time. I mean, it’s Valentine’s Day, it screams strip club”
5. Devote time to a neglected hobby
Men usually have at least one hobby. The hobby that calms your nerves and usually gets neglected when life gets too damn busy. Spend Valentine’s Day engrossed in your own guilty pleasure. Finally beat that video game you bought months ago, get back into running, working out, model ships, graphic novels, or whatever makes you happy. It will help you forget about Valentine’s Day and will give you a sense of accomplishment when you’ve completed the task.
6. Get out of town
If you’ve got the time and the extra cash, this might be the best opportunity to do some traveling. You don’t even necessarily have to leave the country (though it wouldn’t be a bad idea considering most countries don’t celebrate such a dumb holiday), because a trip in your own country might be just as much fun. Visit friends you haven’t seen in a while or just go explore a new town. Spend most of Valentine’s Day on a plane or in a car, and it’s pretty easy to ignore.
7. Do the usual
It’s Valentine’s Day. Alone. Big. Farking. Deal. Just because it’s a day that everyone else is celebrating doesn’t mean you’ve got to observe and celebrate. Just pretend it’s a normal day: go to work, go to lunch, go for after-work drinks, flip on a Netflix movie and do all the things you’d do on a normal, boring day. It only lasts 24 hours, and you spend the majority of that time in bed or at work. It will all be over soon.
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